Lord, we often pray that you will be with us in our weekly worship. Yet the truth is, we are as close to you as we choose to be. So in this hour of worship, please help us open ourselves to your awesome presence and abiding love. Amen.

 

Good morning again to everyone. We’re glad you are here. If you wondered in for the first time today, a special word of welcome. Hopefully you will sense something that is going on here. We believe you will be experiencing a church that has completed five weeks of a 40-day commitment to pray every day together using this awesome guide that we keep showing our folks. It was created by our own people, put together in partnership with the Spirit of the Living God. I hope you are finding that as meaningful and powerful as many of us are. We are doing it intentionally. We are trying to, literally, intentionally ask for, and more importantly, listen for God’s direction for our future as a community of faith. 

 

Now one of the things we are hearing from people, as this process has unfolded over the past five weeks, is that some of us are having a little difficulty hearing God speak. Some of us have been praying devoutly, but we have not heard an audible word. We have not seen a six-foot angel dressed in white appear at our place. So, some of us have concluded that, somehow, God is not speaking. If that is you, I ask that you check out this little brochure. It’s in your church mailbox, and there are some in the narthex, if you don’t have a box. It is called Hearing God. God speaks to us in many ways. 

 

I found it incredibly helpful. It is a very simple and profound document that guides us to be able to hear the Spirit of the Living God better, because quite frankly, folks, the Spirit of the Living God never ceases to speak. 

 

God is a communicator. That is the amazing thing about our God. God speaks at every moment, of every day, of every night, of every occasion. The question is, are we able to hear? This brochure might give you some clues as to ways to tune in and possibly hear a small voice that is speaking to you. 

 

Then, of course, what we are asking is that as you begin hearing these things, take what you hear and place it on these 3x5 cards. You saw them as you walked in. The Harvest Vessel is right there in the narthex.   Please put down whatever you would like us to know that you are thinking, that you are feeling, your thoughts and concerns and prayers about the future of this community of faith. Place those in the Harvest Vessel, as many as you want. You are more than welcome to do that. 

 

In week from Monday, the Transition Team will begin to look at them. Nobody is going to look at them until then, but we will begin a week from Monday, discerning, identifying patterns, themes, trajectories, etc. They will look at the very fruits of this community’s faith and prayer and begin weaving those things together into some type of vision – a vision of what we believe, in this church, the Spirit of the Living Christ wants this community of faith to do next. It is an exciting time, and I hope you can be part of it.

 

Now right along side that process, as you know, we have been spending 40 days together seeking to deepen our sense of community as a church family. The reason we are doing that is, quite simply, the Bible teaches us that from the beginning to end, we are better together than when we are when we are by ourselves. 

 

So, part of what we do when we are together is we grow. We grow spiritually. Why do we do that? Well, because God put you here, we believe, on this earth for a particular purpose. In order to fulfill that purpose, we have to grow. We have to grow spiritually. It does not just happen. 

 

So, the question today: How? How do we grow spiritually? One of the things that we know for sure is people do not tend to grow by themselves, on their own. The reason they don’t is because we were not made that way. We were made to grow together. We have to have other people in our lives. That is how we grow. We help each other grow. 

 

That is why we talk so much about small groups in this particular community of faith. We have to have other people to help us grow. Otherwise, we go down all kinds of different weird paths, which I don’t have time to talk about today, but you know what I am talking about. So, if you are not in a group, let me strongly encourage you to get into one. Sign up today. We are putting some wonderful groups together. It doesn’t matter if you have been here five minutes or 50 years. We can help you get into a group; just let us know. 

 

The reason we are doing that is found on the front of the bulletin today. It is found in our text today, 1 Thessalonians 5:11. It says, “Encourage each other and build each other up.” 

 

Now, please, say that after me: “Encourage each other, and build each other up.” 

 

Just listen to you. You memorized a Bible verse! This is wonderful. Turn to somebody and say, “I did it.” Now say this after me, “1 Thessalonians 5:11; Encourage each other and build each other up.” 

 

I want you to take that thought with you, because that is what we are going to talk about today. This is how we help each other grow. 

 

What is so cool about this today, for me, is you can use this almost anywhere. You can use what we are going to talk about to help your boyfriend grow, to help your girlfriend grow, your spouse grow, your kids, people you work with, in your small groups. It doesn’t matter. You can use this almost anywhere. Because the key to helping each other grow is affirming each other’s worth. Let me say that again. The key to helping people grow is affirming each other’s worth. 

 

I am going to tell you a little secret. Everybody – absolutely everybody – is looking for affirmation. Everybody wants to know they are valued. What I’ve learned is, and you know this, too, they will do almost anything to get that affirmation. They will eat worms on television. They will lie. They will cheat. They will steal. They will submit themselves to all kinds of humiliations. They will stay up night putting together projects – all kinds of stuff – just to get other people to value them. Everybody hungers to be valued.  

 

When you and I affirm other people, we are actually ministering to them, just like Jesus did. We are showing them love. We are demonstrating how much God cares about them and how valuable they are to God and to us.

 

Let’s jump in. We are going to name four practical ways that God wants us to affirm the worth of others – to build them up – in everyday life.

 

Number One: We help people grow by showing them acceptance. 

 

Romans 15:7 says, “Accept one another just as Christ has accepted you.” 

 

Instead of snubbing, belittling, bemoaning, acting as if you are better, putting other people down, choose instead to lift people up. If you want to make an incredible impact on another person’s life, accept them. That may sound so obvious to so many of you in this group. But let me remind you of something. We live in an incredibly put-down world. Every time you turn around, people are putting each other down. When people get in a bad place, you know what they try to do? The tendency is they try to bring other people down. They don’t lift people up. 

 

After that, we live in a culture that teaches us to compare and rate everything. I mean… We compare and rate parents, kids, cars, houses, incomes, toys, neighborhoods, body parts, backgrounds. It doesn’t matter. We compare and rate everything. 

 

Sometimes, that keeps us, consciously or unconsciously, from accepting others. It is a tendency we all have. It’s not just a few. It is that tendency that is built into us. We tend to take our strengths and project them onto others. When we do that, we notice how they just don’t quite measure up to our standards. Do you know what I am talking about? Forgetting all along, we have our set of weaknesses, too.

 

Let me give you an illustration. Some of you are really tidy people. You are just neat. You are clean. You were raised probably with that old proverb, “Cleanliness is next to godliness.” That is a great proverb. It is not in the Bible, but it is a great proverb. You were probably raised with that, and that is cool. 

 

I have a friend, Tom. For Tom, dirt is evil. Dirt is of Satan. Dirt is the enemy. Dirt is from the bad place. Tom hates dirt so much that I watched him, for years, wash his car every time he drove it. Rain or shine, didn’t matter. He is the only person I have ever personally known who washed and waxed the paint right off his car. 

Tom’s gift to himself once a year was a new paint job for his car. It was amazing. I am not kidding you.  

 

Then Tom would get into my car. He never said anything. He was a good friend, but you could just tell he was taking notes. 

 

Tom had this tendency to take his strengths and project them on others, and he would notice, consciously or unconsciously, the rest of us didn’t quite measure up to his standards. That was one of the ways Tom helped himself feel better about himself. 

 

Let me offer you a better way to feel better about you. One of the greatest ways to feel better about you is to not put people down, but to lift other people up. It is a thrill like nothing else. 

 

So, whom does God want you to lift up? Let’s make this personal. Who in your family… Who of your relatives… Who in your school… Who in your workplace… Who in your small group… Who in this church… Who is it that you are having a hard time accepting? Just think. You know what is coming. Guess what? God wants to use you in their lives to help those people grow. 

 

The fact is you are having a hard time accepting that, because you are probably different from them. Let me tell you something. They are probably having a hard time accepting you, too. 

 

The way we help each other grow is we start with acceptance. You cannot help another person grow and reject them at the same time. You can’t do it. You have to accept them, just like Jesus accepted you. 

 

How do you know when you have actually accepted another person? There is one great test. Here is the big one. Number one: You stop insisting that they be just like you. You need to realize and rejoice in the fact that they are different. The truth is the world would be… This church would be an incredibly boring place if everybody were just like you. 

 

God made us all different to do different kinds of things in this life, so everything that God wants to get done can get done. The way that happens is that we are different. That is a good thing. 

 

So, the goal of a family… One of the goals of a church community… One of the goals, possibly, of your small group is not to mold everybody into your image. Our goal is to help each other discover what God made us to be – to recognize and affirm that uniqueness.   When we do that kind of thing, we help each other grow.

 

Story time: This is a story about another small group, in another church, in another state. Don’t bother trying to figure out whom I am talking about. 

 

I am going to call this person Jeff. When Jeff graduated from college, like many people that went to school in this country, Jeff had a goal. His goal was to live the American dream. He wanted to live the good life, and he put things in place to enable him to do that. 

 

Jeff got a job in sales. He was a good salesman. He did really well. He got married to the woman of his dreams. He took over a business in the computer industry in another state and just seemed to have the gift for business. In 90 days he turned that floundering company around to be profitable. Those kinds of things just started to roll for Jeff. One thing led to another. The business that he was involved in did very well. It rewarded him. 

 

He and his wife, Julie, acquired a 7,000-square-foot home. They had a Ferrari. They had a house at the lake. They had boats, country club, beach club membership, and lots of toys. 

 

They even went to church. Now, Jeff wasn’t really big into church, but Julie was. They attended church regularly. He didn’t get really involved in things. He just sort of sat there, and he went because she wanted him to. 

 

One day, the pastor encouraged everyone in the church to join a small group. Julie gave Jeff that look. (You know what I am talking about? You now when the husband looks, or the wife looks, and the look says, “We are going to do this.”) So, Jeff said, “OK.” They became part of this wonderful little group. They got to know each other very well. They really enjoyed each other’s company. They did things together. Their kids played together. They even learned how to pray together in a group. 

 

Everything in life was going well for Jeff and Julie. Their monthly expenses actually totaled up to about $40,000 a month. Now that sounds pretty good, I think. Life was good.

 

Then, some bad stuff started to happen. The business got hit with a huge lawsuit. The finance company forced the fire sale of their enterprise. Suddenly, Jeff was unemployed. 

 

So-called friends disappeared, except for a very small group of people who were in the small group. Some of the guys in that group met together with Jeff privately. They loved him enough to encourage him to cut some expenses. “You know, Jeff, come on. Cut some expenses. You’re living way beyond your means. You can’t do this, and you really need to consider cutting back on that really heavy drinking. It’s really getting to you. It’s over the top.”

 

But, he didn’t listen. Yet they continued, as a group, to accept him. They continued as a group to love him, even though he was not ready for a change.  

 

You guessed it. Jeff had to file for bankruptcy. He lost everything. The small group literally brought food to his house.   They literally got clothes for his children. They stood beside Jeff and Julie through the toughest, most humiliating time in their life. 

 

Jeff finally got another job. They moved into a less expensive house, but the heavy drinking continued. Finally, one Saturday morning, Jeff’s group confronted him with what he did not want to hear. His excessive, heavy drinking was part of the problem. They told him essentially, “You’ve either got to get it under control, or you have to quit. We’re not going to take ‘no’ for an answer. The reason we are not going to take ‘no’ is because we love you.” 

 

As it turned out, Jeff and Julie both quit, and since then, they report that their life certainly hasn’t been perfect, but it has been vastly improved. It has resulted in Jeff having a family that he loves, a job that he loves, and a small group of Christian friends that he dearly loves as they walk together through life helping each other grow.

 

Please note in this story, the small group didn’t just accept Jeff and Julie. They did three other things that are critical. I’m going to talk about those three things today. 

 

Number Two: You help people grow when you pay them attention. Pay attention.

 

Galatians 6:10 says, “Give special attention to those who are in the family of believers.” 

 

Why? Because whatever you pay attention to, folks, tends to grow. I pay attention to my herb garden. It tends to grow. Pay attention to my marriage; it tends to grow. Pay attention to our kids; they tend to grow. Pay attention to our work; things tend to grow. 

 

The only place this principle doesn’t work is my hair. The more attention I pay to it, the more it falls out. You can’t tell that because I am 6’4,” and I don’t bend over like this very often. But it is going. That’s the truth. 

 

One of the greatest gifts you can give another person is focused attention. Sit down and look them in the face, eye-to-eye. Just looking at a person and talking to them face-to-face, in this day and age, says something very important to them. It says, “What you have to say to me is really important, and you really matter to me.” 

 

Some folks don’t get this; particularly guys. It is women, too, but it is particularly guys. They think their job is to provide. Provide stuff, things. “And how could anybody want anything more than what I am giving? I am giving it all. What else do they want?”  

 

You know what they want. They don’t want more stuff. They want you. They want your time. They want your attention. Nothing can compensate for your time. Kids need time. Your marriage needs time. Our friends need time. People in our small group need time. You need time. You need time for God. You need time for yourself. You need time for others. 

 

My kid calls me every morning as she walks to work. She lives all the way across the country, but she gives me five minutes, five days a week, of her undivided attention. It is priceless. 

 

Here is what I want you to do this week. I want you to look for opportunities. I want you to make opportunities to pay attention, to give somebody else your focused attention, because people need acceptance, and they need your attention in order to grow.

 

Number Three: This is a tough one. Affection. You help other people grow by showing affection. 

This is a real one, and it is tricky for one reason.   The key word here is “appropriate physical touch.”  This is tough in the church. 

 

We are living in a country and a time that has really suffered from this. I want to really underline something: appropriate. The tricky part is we have some people here who want you to shake your hand. They want you to pat them on the back. We have people here who want you to actually give them a hug. And we have others here who do not want any of that from you for very good reasons. 

 

So, what we have here is a community of faith with very normal, healthy adults who need eight to ten meaningful touches a day, and a group of very healthy, normal adults who just are not comfortable being touched by you. You must accept, understand, and take responsibility for that boundary. 

 

And yet, Romans 12:10 says, “Love one another with brotherly affection as members of one family.” 

 

So when I say to you, “Turn to your neighbor and say ‘Hi’ to the people you are worshiping with today,” that’s exactly what I mean. Broadway is a friendly church. We are known in this town to be a friendly church. There is nothing wrong with being a friendly church. We love each other. We like each other. We’re in this thing together. We don’t just say it. We try to feel it. So engage each other, if you would, as a brother or a sister. Show appropriate physical affection that communicates Christian love to the adult members of our community and our family, at a level that is comfortable to both you and the other person. 

 

Know this. If anybody says or even gives you an inclination that says, “I am uncomfortable with this,” you must accept it and respect it. It is your duty. 

 

But, when we are affectionate appropriately with each other, we help each other grow.

 

Acceptance. Attention. Affection.

 

Number Four: Appreciation. We affirm each other’s worth with appreciation. To appreciate means, “to raise in value.” To depreciate means, “to lose value.” If you bought a house or a car recently, you know exactly what I am talking about. Every time you appreciate somebody, you raise his or her value. You raise their value to you. You raise their value to others. When you appreciate your spouse, your friends, your kids, your small group, you raise their value. 

 

First Thessalonians 5:12, the next verse after our text, says, “Brothers and sisters, appreciate those who work hard among you, who lead you in the Lord, and who teach you.” 

 

When was the last time you thanked your children’s Sunday School teachers? Your teen’s youth workers? Your church’s musicians? Stephen Ministers? Ministry leaders and officers, staff persons? Your elders, your deacons, your ushers, your greeters?

 

It takes hundreds of folks every week to pull off a week here at Broadway. Thank them. Show them your appreciation. 

 

You do not have to thank me. I already know that you appreciate me. I’m the front guy.   I’m the guy that is up here all the time. I get appreciated. It gets communicated to me constantly, except for those who are afraid I am going to hug them. But that is another story. Seriously, I am just teasing. 

 

Your appreciation is powerful. This week I want you to find people who are not in the limelight, who are not up front, and express your appreciation to them. 

 

While I am at it, let me publicly appreciate you. There is no more friendly, no more generous, no more caring, no more ‘can-do’ congregation, than Broadway, in the city of Columbia. This is a church where I can stand up, and I can say, “I am going to ask you pray, all of us together, for 40 days,” and 500 of you say, “OK, we can do that.” 

 

Leadership can stand up in front of you and say, “We are going to reach out and make room. It’s going to cost $2.3-million.” And you say, “OK, we can do that. We’ll pitch in. We will work together and make it happen.” 

 

Ministry leaders say, “We need to give 10 cents on every dollar pledged to this church to the needs of the poor, to ministry beyond ourselves.” And you say, “OK, we could use it here, but we can do that. We’ll pitch in and make it happen.” 

 

You are an amazing group of people. If you are a visitor here, you may not know. However, I have watched you for 22 years grow in your faith, and as you grow, you put that new, growing faith into actions. I am so proud of having been a part of it. Because that is how we help each other grow.

 

 Acceptance. Attention. Affection. Appreciation. 

 

And we all say together… “Amen.”

 

 

Oh, Lord, how can I help people see your face? Who do you want me to pray for? Show me today; lead me to the ones you can reach through me. Please show us how our church can serve you, how we can better organize ourselves to help you. Let us be a part of what you want to do next. Amen.